The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of interruptions and detours it seems like every time I sit down in front of my computer someone or something needs my attention. The heat has been unbearable so I had to bring my computer from the office and into our living room. Our office is in the added sunroom and I already know what you’re thinking. Why would anyone build a sun room in the valley where the temp can peek up to 106 in the summer? I have no idea. Nonetheless it required me to find another place to work.
On top of that the ants have decided to take refuge in our kitchen and it seems like no matter how much we clean or spray they manage to find another way to invade. Just last night they found their way into the living room so instead of writing my Lifetime Moms post, or updating my blog I had to slip on some battle gear and tackle those pesky ants. And I hate ants! Oh and on top of that Cameron decided to use our couch as a canvas for a ball point pen he managed to find. I blame the company who decided to leave it our doorstep as a promotional item for their business. Gee Thanks.
After we exterminated the ants, cleaned up the couch (if you know how to get pen out of suede, let me know please!) and got the kids to bed I was finally able to sit back down in front of the computer. Then our server went down, which meant my blog was down. So I thought I would process some orders but I couldn’t do that either because I was waiting for stock. So I took that as a sign and shut down the computer.
Since I wasn’t tired, my mind starting to wonder and got me thinking and that’s a bad thing when I’m feeling vulnerable. Should I close down the store, should I just be happy working for someone else and quit everything else, should I stop the blog, should I start freelancing, can I be a wahm 100%, should we move… to I miss screenwriting.
So I pulled out my screenwriting file cabinet and started to go through all the scripts. I have no idea why I stopped writing it just sort of happened after I had Miss Bizzie. But I miss it, I miss being able to get lost in the characters and play the roles. When I’m writing I am my characters and most of them have way more interesting lives then mine. I miss being able to spend the day just typing away on my computer.
I think I have been so busy dealing with EVERYTHING that I haven’t had time to enjoy life. I mean I completely forgot that BlogHer is just around the corner in about two week and I’m so not ready. I haven’t even ordered business cards and that has been on my to-do list for months. Last year I was so anal that I even had a Moleskin notebook dedicated to BlogHer, I knew what parties and sessions I was going to, this time I haven’t even looked at what’s available. Nonetheless I’m still excited about the event and can’t wait for the long flight over where I can just relax and clear my head or maybe start a new screenplay.
It sounds like you really need the away time! This is precisely why I do workshops to remind moms (MYSELF INCLUDED!!!) that we need to nurture our own passions that existed even before our children came into existence.
You need not get frazzled before you re-introduce screenwriting into your regular routine. The store, the blog, and all your other commitments should be additions to your love for writing. That may sound irrational, but really you deserve to do what you love. It’s not that you don’t love some of those other elements, and certainly you love your family, but writing is a part of Stephanie, so why should that play victim to the war of getting everything else done.
As for BlogHer, you still have time for your business cards to get there (when you order ‘em), and the conference is set up and wonderfully so, I’m sure. You can look the schedule a couple of days before, and have a blast when you get there, sans Moleskin notebook.
Remember that we BizzieMommies work as hard as we do so that we can enjoy a certain quality of life. A big part of that is enjoying the things that make us happy, so get your screenwriting on, Mama!
Akilah – thank you so much for you comment. I think somewhere along the way I totally forgot why I even started all this craziness. I do need to take some time and enjoy the things that make me happy as everyone should. You should totally do a workshop here in LA.