Confidence and self-esteem is extremely important when it comes to running your own business or excelling in the workplace. In both situations you are your own advocate and walking sales force and if you don’t believe you can do something nobody else will. But many people, especially woman find it difficult to be assertive and often times find it difficult to speak up and stand up for themselves.
This behavior doesn’t start in the workplace; positive self-esteem is a learned behavior that can start at a very early age.
I can admit that it’s a major hurdle for me and I can clearly identify every time in my life where my lack of confidence hindered my ability to do the things and get the things I want. I can see the same hesitance with my daughter and I hate it.
According to a Liz Donnelly, a well-known New Yorker cartoonist who has taught Women’s Studies at Vassar College, “Women are not taught to exhibit self-confidence, and in fact are taught the opposite. Woman often wait to discovered, wait to be called upon. Asking questions, providing ideas and offering to be the person for the job are all things that we, as women, often wait for. But this only holds us back.”
My daughter is just about to graduate from Kindergarten and her biggest issue is speaking up in class, she rarely raises her hand and when called upon she answers with such hesitation you can barely hear her answer. Even at home if she is unsure of the answer it’s hard to get her to even try. Both my husband and I are trying hard to convince and encourage her to try and hoping to boost her confidence. We are hoping with our encouragement and trust in her abilities, she will fill confident enough to speak up and stand out.
Today as I work on establishing my own business and presence, my confidence level, is still hindering my success. Sometimes it feels like I’m just standing by the sidelines just watching other people succeed. That’s when I need to remind myself what I have to offer and find a way to present it to the world.
Self confidence comes from the inside out and the outside in. Changing your attitude about yourself and your reactions to others is just part of the equation. This is the part that can taught through inner work, like therapy, coaching, assertiveness training and engaging in new activities. My motto in the past year has been, “Life begins outside your comfort zone.” And I think I’ve stepped out a bit this year, but there is still so much more to do.
According to experts it is equally important to be in an environment that fosters positivity. If you are experience low self-esteem and confidence you need to remember that it is learned behavior. You just need to find the best tools and resources to help develop your’s.
Here are some great confidence boosting do’s and don’ts:
- Don’t Wait to Be Chosen
- Do Take an Improv Class ( do something outside your comfort zone)
- Don’t Assume Others are Smarter Than You
- Do Build a “Board of Advisors”
- Don’t Fake it Til You Make It
- Do Pay It Forward
- Don’t Work In An Unsupportive Environment
- Do Embrace An Optimistic Future
- Don’t Reject Rejection
- Do Create a Top 10 List of Values
- Don’t Settle for Negative People and Places